Bloggeronicusrex

Boy, the Way Glenn Miller Played…

As a kid I remember watching “All in the Family” right before dinner time.  I can still smell my mom’s fish crackling in the skillet as the sun was heading down the horizon as the all-too-familiar shrill of Edith Bunker’s singing voice rang throughout my house.  I would run to the den and crash to the ground, laying on top of the shag carpet propping my head up on my palms and elbows.

In memory of those wonderful days of childhood TV and politically incorrect glory, I’ve collected some Archie quotes. Read. Reflect and enjoy. Those were the days.

“Man was put on this earth to eat meat…The Bible says so dumbbell…I mean look it up will ya? All them old Bible peoples, they was always eating meat; soon as they found out eating apples was wrong…It’s true, on special occasions: goats and lambs. Who the heck ever hear of sacrificing a head of lettuce? You?”

“I never said a guy who wears glasses is a queer. A guy who wears glasses is a four-eyes; a guy who’s a fag is a queer.”

“The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband being big enough to step back and see where the wife is wrong.”

“God don’t make no mistakes. That’s how He got to be God.”

“A woman doctor is only good for women’s problems…like your groinocology.”

“It’s a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime.”

“That’s the kind of luck poor Mr. Lincoln had the night he went to the movies….as he sat in John Wilkes’ booth.”

“No bum that can’t speak poifect English oughta stay in this country…oughta be de-exported the hell outta here!”

“They just wanna get rid of us old guys over 50 that’s all, and put us out to pasture. Well I ain’t ready to be pasteurized!”

“I ain’t got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can’t make no mistakes. Like he’s, waddya call, inflammable.”

“He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian — or Christ, for short.”

“Honor thy parents. That’s one of the Lord’s Top 10 Commandments. That’s right around covetin’ your neighbor’s cattles and wives and there”